Writing Annonomusly

Why am I starting on a new blog? Perhaps it's because I'm too free these days. There are stuff which I'm supposed to have done long ago, but just can't get started. One of the things top on the list would be to pack my room. It's been in a mess since exams period, or even before that. I guess what hf said really makes sense. That is, your room is actually a reflection of your state of mind (or something similar). Mine definitely is. And I just can't move on. Even things that happened years ago will keep replaying over and over again.

I'm really not complaining about being too free cos' I do enjoy it. It's just that sometimes when you're free, your mind will start filling itself up with thoughts. Thoughts that have been bugging for the longest time, and of cos' new ones as well. Since when will even troubles be gone right? haha. My mind is filled - with thoughts about grades and jobs - to the brim. I know these seemingly important issues might be of the least importance in the future, but currently, they dictate my life. The fact that they are so closely related issues, they just mutiply exponentially. Even my grad trip was not enjoyable mainly because of that. Somehow, I just feel that I do not deserve it.

Time and time again, I would ask myself. If I have a chance to start all over again, would I? I'm not sure. I think I've got the message (if there's indeed one) the scriptwriter is trying to convey for the 9pm drama, that is, even if things can be started all over again, things might not change for the better. Is it telling us that we cannot alter fate? Up till today, I still can't decide if I believe that everything is predestined or that fate lies in our hands.

I know very well that there's a greater world out there. There's more to worry than these trivial issues. I'm sorry being self-absorbed. I urgently need to learn from what hf said.. let tomorrow worry for itself. But I'm afraid I'd never be able to do that.

Anyway back to the point why did I start this blog. The truth is that.. I cannot bring myself to tell the truth under others' scrutiny.